Questions

Why is it so hard? Why do I feel so alone? Why does it come so easily to others? Why am I the only person I know in this situation right now? Why do I have to change everything? Why are there never 2 pink lines? Will I ever see two? Will I ever understand why this has happened to us? Will I ever get to be a happy glowing pregnant woman? Will I ever get to be called Mom? Will I ever get to give my husband the one thing he wants most in this world? Will I ever stop hurting and longing? Will we make it if it doesn't happen? Will this make me stronger or break me? Will the tears ever stop? Will I ever get the answers I want so bad??????

Today has been a hard day. Another negative pregnancy test. Some months are easier than others and for some reason this time it was hard to handle. Thanks to my good friend PCOS I am without a positive test and without cycle day one......

They Just Don't Understand

As I have already told you I have PCOS. This is very frustrating to me right now. I come from a family who are so fertile it is scary and somehow I am the odd man out. This shouldn't surprise me since odd things seem to happen to me and I am not the luckiest person in general. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I am very glad that there are so many of us and that we are all so close, but I am still jealous from time to time. It also makes it hard to talk to them about my fertility problems. All of the women in my family either got pregnant as soon as they decided they wanted a baby or had a surprise pregnancy while on birth control. They try to be supportive, but sometimes I think they just don't know what to say. I try not to compare myself to them since it doesn't help and we are all different. Some days it is easier to do this than others. Today I am struggling, but I know that I will be OK! I need to focus on what I can do about my situation, the things I do have control over.

Introduction

Hi! I guess this is where I let y'all know who I am and what this whole blog thing is all about. I am a southern girl in her late twenties and I am trying (unsuccessfully so far) to get pregnant. I have been married since Nov 2008 and we have been TTC since Sept 2009. It has been an interesting journey so far! I was diagnosed with PCOS in October 2009. I am still learning about PCOS and how to deal with it. For now we are not seeking any fertility treatments and are trying to get pregnant the old fashioned way, but that may soon change. If you have any advice or stories to share about PCOS, please feel free to do so.

I hope to use this blog to share our journey and to get to know other women who are going through infertility and TTC. I will probably talk about all kinds of other random things like my diet and exercise misadventures, my fabulous husband, and the rest of my crazy family and friends. I am an open book for the most part, so feel free to contact me if there is anything you want to know.